Yes!

[a one year old baby - who said "Yes!"]

my talk in sacrament meeting on Sunday.  i wanted to record it here - since this has become my primary journal these days.  it feels like the closing of a chapter.  peter and i each had a little less than 10 minutes to talk between some great music by the Drysdale kids.  always my favorite!

::

I love quilting.  Did you know this about me?  I don't have much time for it right now in my current stage of life.  I learned how to quilt by watching my mother sew as I sat on the counter behind her in her laundry room in Seattle.  She would have me cut squares of fabric, trim threads and iron for her as she created.  I never wanted to try quilting - thinking it was her “thing” - I was a teenager afterall - refusing all her attempts to hand over the sewing to me.  But I loved to sit in the same room with her talking as she sewed.  One summer home from college, I conceded.  I realized I knew how to do everything from all the years of helping and watching.  And I loved it.  I loved choosing pieces of different fabric and piecing them together in a pattern that eventually formed an order.  I like starting small and focused -watching the creation grow. 

Have you read in the current issue of this month’s Ensign?  I am a bit of an Ensign junkie.  Another tid-bit about me.  I love reading the latest issue cover to cover at lunch while Colin naps.  President Uchtdorf talks about the art of quilting!!! in this issue and says this:

“Life is like a crazy quilt —a colorful representation of oddities stitched together into one complete composition of who we are....
Many small relationships are integral pieces in the fabric of the person we call “me.”
Our relationship with God is at the heart of all other relationships. He is the thread that ties us together.”

We are speaking today of course because we are moving this next month to Draper with our 4 boys.  We were asked to speak on whatever we wanted to leave you with.  As I think about our 7 years here with you, I think of this quilt as President Uchtdorf speaks of- the person I call me - the family we call the Osborns and the many small relationships we have made with each of YOU.  These are integral pieces all stitched together because of OUR relationships with God that is the thread that ties US as a ward all together.  What I love about knowing each of you these 7 years, is how and why your relationship with God is important to you. 

And so today I hope to leave you with a few words about a specific lesson I have learned these years that has strengthened MY relationship with God and my FAITH in Him.  This is a little piece of my thread that has grown as I have lived amongst you!  [We were talking in Relief Society in Sara’s lesson that this is a Gospel for imperfect people!  Clearly I fall into that category and had to keep relearning this lesson!]
I call it, “The Lesson of Saying ‘Yes’".

Colin, our baby is now 20 months old.  One of his first words as a one year old was “Yes!”.  For about 3 months, he never answered “No.”  - He only answered a resounding “yes!” with a cheerful smile to every question we asked him.  It was as if he didn’t even know the word, “No”.  His brothers thought it was so much fun - they would often ask him things like -
“Do you love Jacob the most?” Yes!
“Do you think I am funny?”  Yes!
“Do you want me to punch you in the face?” YES! [...they are 4 boys after-all.]

What if...This was the only answer we, as grown-ups could give.  Sometimes this would be really great. 
-Would you like to try our house special chocolate lava cake?  yes!
-I have an extra plane ticket to Maui? Are you available labor day weekend?  Yes!
-Do you want to go for a walk? Yes!
-Do you mind if I fold those 3 loads of laundry? Yes!

Other times...not such a great answer..
-Will you go clean the bathroom right now?
-Can I open your birthday present?
-Can I choose what we eat for dinner every night?

Anyway, you get the point.  Yes! Yes! Yes!  Of course it is not this simple.  If we were to say "Yes" to every request, we would be that proverbial doormat none of us strive to become. 

I am going to propose something to you - and this is what I have learned.  What if, when presented with life’s greatest challenges, our first response was always a resounding “Yes!”.  What if it is EXACTLY this simple??

Most of you already know the stories about our family and our health issues, and so I’m not going to go into a lot of detail.  For these 7 years, we have had a major medical crisis happen every year.  As one comes to an end, another begins.  I think that I must have agreed at some point before coming to earth, that I could handle strange health disasters.  I am not complaining.  I have an extraordinary amount of blessings in my life - for starters I am lucky as a woman in time and history to be born here in the United States,  to be married to an amazing husband, to have loving parents, to have financial blessings, to be a mother, and to have the Gospel on top of all of that [as my great grandmother would say - all this and the Gospel too!] - and so I guess I drew the card for health challenges!! 

The line up includes 3 back surgeries for Peter that got progressively more serious and eventually critical, 2 pregnancies for myself that were debilitating, and years of illness for our 2 youngest children who used to have a very rare and threatening digestive disorder whereby no current medical advice was initially available.  All of this at times was completely overwhelming, and often seemingly insurmountable.

In conference Elder Nelson said in his talk Face the Future with Faith:
“How you deal with life’s trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth. The Lord has reminded you, your children, and your grandchildren that you are lawful heirs, that you have been reserved in heaven for your specific time and place to be born, to grow and become His standard bearers and covenant people. As you walk in the Lord’s path of righteousness, you will be blessed to continue in His goodness and be a light and a savior unto His people”.13

Year after year, crisis after crisis, as I was driven to my knees daily in fervent prayer begging my Father in Heaven to teach me how to do what was being asked of me -   and I would be reminded:
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  Isaiah 41:10 

And then thru the power of revelation thru the holy ghost, He would instruct me how to feed my sick children by giving me recipes in my mind each morning. He restrained me from feeding certain foods to my children as I was learning thru study and research what would harm them. He gave me extra energy and mental strength to care for my family when Peter was in bed for a year.   He brought be a caregiver named Amy into my family to love my children and take care of them when I was pregnant and in bed.  He comforted me in the temple when I was burdened by my responsibilities.  I was reminded that I had learned how much hard work faith in action actually was in a particular priesthood blessing.

As the years progressed I slowly learned to first say, YES! to what was being asked of me. By working hard, I set aside my fear as I felt God’s hand hold me up.  Then I would work harder.  Smarter.  And then my faith grew in leaps and bounds.  When I feel this increase of faith, I want to be more obedient to the commandments.  I want to say “YES!” to God in all arenas in my life.  I want to be more worthy for increased direction from the Holy Ghost, because I grow accustomed to this constant feeling of the Spirit’s companionship. 

And so, this is what I have learned. 

Remember what Elder Nelson said, “How you deal with life’s trials is part of the development of your faith”
When I say, YES!  Heavenly Father is there to help me with open arms.
“I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my cSpirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”  D&C 84:88

My angels have been busy.  I have much to thank them for.  This is an incredible promise! 

When I say, “YES!”, Heavenly Father helps me get to the other side of each trial - step by step as we partner thru fervent prayer.   When I follow His council and guidance setting aside doubt, He leads me directly thru and shows me the work to do.     [teach me how to build my ship]

President Monson testifies: “My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.”19 

When I say, “YES!” I know that I can face future challenges, come what may, with a sense of calm that is anchored in faith.  This is because I know that everything will be OK in God’s time, even though I can’t always see how with my limited, imperfect perspective. 

["In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer" - albert camus] 

In closing I leave you with the testimony of President Monson:
“I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments.” - President Monson

And so, Dear brothers and Sisters, I leave my testimony that in the most complicated and heart wrenching challenges that life always will offer us [this we can count on], saying “YES” to Heavenly Father is exactly the simple answer of faith He is waiting to hear.  You will find Him as I did, with open arms waiting to lead you thru - each and every time.  This you can also count on.